ok, that was weird. i woke up early this morning and opened my laptop and, since it was still dark, the only light i had was coming from the monitor. that’s when i noticed an ant nonchalantly roaming around on my screen. not cool! clearly, whatever business he was doing on my computer, he could be conducting elsewhere. so i brush him away and continue computing.
only a second later, i see him crawling on the computer again! or i thought it was him. i turn on my light to get a better look, and discover that my computer is swarming with ants! ants everywhere! up and down my power cord. in and out of the various ports on my computer. it was out of control! you’d think my laptop was made out of jelly!
just having all those bugs crawling around was a bummer in itself, but that’s not my main worry. after moving the computer far away from my bed, i was able to relax and fall back to sleep. a couple hours later, i woke up and checked the ant situation. here’s the alarming part… there wasn’t a single ant to be found anywhere!
i probably have ants roaming around my keyboard all night long, and never wake up early enough to catch them in the act. well tomorrow i’m setting my alarm… if they’re galavanting around then, they’re gonna pay!
You, as a species, were not good to me during my recent stay in Houston, Texas. I feel like you unfairly singled me out and attacked me whilst ignoring other equally accessible (and perhaps even slightly tastier) targets. And you didn’t just do this once… You attacked me on ten occasions! Which brings me to my apology.I had accepted the bite you gave me in that fleshy bit between my thumb and pointer finger on my left hand. And the one directly on the tendon of my left forearm. And the one on my left elbow. And the ones on my right elbow, right forearm, right pointer finger, and right abdomen. But when you started biting my face, you went too far. You got me in the middle of the forehead. On the chin. Left temple. Right temple. By that point I was crazy with anger for your lack of discretion. I just went into the lavatory of the Southwest airplane which is now flying me far away from you evil bugs. I looked in the mirror, and that’s when I realized my mistake. The mark on my right temple is actually a zit, and it had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry for being so quick to blame you for that blemish. But, to be fair, you or your cronies have sucked so much of my blood during these past two days, I guess I just jumped to conclusions. My advice to you, if you want to avoid such false accusations in the future, is to be conscious of the places you bite people. I can handle a little bump and itch, but please… I beg you… Never mess with the face!